Overwhelmed would be the only word to describe how I feel from the immense response I’ve received to my Fat Bitch post. I had so much anxiety about hitting “Publish”, and I was sorry the second I did – sorry I made myself vulnerable; sorry I showed my scary side that was quick to yell and scream at a person; sorry I was passionate and unbuttoned – something I’ve been reluctant to do so far on Belle Meets World.
After I posted, I went out to clear my head and walk it off, and somehow (okay, deliberately) landed at H&M – my go-to for anxiety-soothing retail therapy. I browsed a bit and then found myself in the teenager-y section where I saw that same word “sorry” peeking out from the neckline of a shirt on the rack. And there it was – a black mock-turtleneck with “I’M NOT SORRY” pasted across the front.
HELLO, UNIVERSE. This was definitely a message from the shopping gods to drop the 15 bucks, put on the shirt, stare at its message, and get comfortable with the idea of being “not sorry” for speaking up. I’d already hit Publish after all, so there was no turning back.
And then something unexpected happened when I returned online. The post started to pick up speed and expand beyond my inner circle to, now 6 days later, over 1000 people reading it – a first for my blog.
Many shared the post to call attention to the overall message. Some readers expressed their support for me and outrage at the purple-shirted man. Others expressed outrage at me for yelling at purple-shirt in the first place.
I took a long, hard look in the mirror – contemplating the episode, my part in it, and the praise and criticism I’d received. And there – facing myself in that silly black $15 shirt – I realized that, while I am not proud of my behavior towards Mr. Purple-Shirt, I am indeed NOT sorry.
I’m not sorry I yelled at him, and I’m not sorry I spoke out about the incident or about my weight struggles or about my anger that ‘fat’ is a word that is abused and manipulated to shut women down and make them feel bad about themselves. That is a battle we still need to fight! And the best way I know how is to be ‘not sorry’ for the past and to move forward with an honest voice in favor of body-positivity for women.
I believe in the incredible power our image has in boosting confidence. Confidence enables us to ask for what we want, to speak up for ourselves and others, to attract opportunities and people to us, and to ultimately achieve success. That is what I’m going to write about here on Belle Meets World – without apology.
Thank you to everyone who has read my blog, who has expressed support and who has shared their opinion – whatever it may be. You are helping me grow as a writer and a blogger, but more importantly, you are calling attention to a body-positive subculture in which we can all participate and perpetuate.
Belle
