If you read my recent post about how I tackle New Year’s Resolutions, you’ll remember one of my top success tricks is to focus on one thing per month. Today I’m sharing my January 2018 goal with you, and I’ll do so each month to increase accountability for myself and to encourage you to choose something for yourself, too. Some months will focus on beauty or style and others, like January, will focus on personal traits. Would you like to join me?
This month’s goal is harder than it seems because I have a pretty major flaw. I interrupt. As in, I’m a hardcore interrupter to the nth degree and I don’t let people finish their thoughts. Part of this is because I don’t always prioritize listening. Instead, I’m eager to get my own thoughts across because they pop up fast and furious in my head.
For those of you who hate interrupters, let me assure you that when we interrupt, it comes from a good place. We are likely so excited to be in a conversation that we NEED to share.
There is a major downside though. The people you love don’t feel like you are listening, especially during important conversations – like arguments or major life decisions you need to make together. New people you meet might pick up on it and find it to be a turn-off if they feel the convo is one-sided.
How do I know it’s a problem? A few people have told me when I’ve asked for feedback (professionally and personally). One thing I WILL listen to is suggestions for improvement that I know I can work on – and this is one of them.
SO, here’s what I’m doing – and it’s ALREADY WORKING. I found this article in The Wall Street Journal, The Best Relationship Advice of the Year, and in it was the suggestion to BREATHE when you are talking to someone. By focusing on your breath, the person has the opportunity to complete their thought and you will likely be more tuned in on what they are saying. Simple, right?
Every time I enter into a conversation, I remind myself to breathe and start doing it consciously. In and out. It helps to calm any social anxiety I may feel and really does help my thoughts SLOW THE F DOWN while the other person is communicating.
Evan has already commented on the difference in my listening and even thanked me for it. I didn’t tell him I was doing this, so it must be helping! Woohoo!
Mini successes really help to drive me forward when working on goals, and they’ll do the same for you. Make sure to celebrate small victories as you pursue your resolutions this year, friends!
WHAT IS YOUR JANUARY 2018 GOAL?
Image by Morgan Hayes Photography